There
is a crazy monkey in your head. It’s ok. I have one too. Her name is Konga, and
she debuts when it’s time to meditate. As I sit with my legs crossed and back
straight up against the wall, I prepare myself for deep contemplation of
breath. Then Konga joins the party.
‘Hey, we meditating? I can
help.’
‘No
you can’t. Go away.’
‘Yes I can. I’m so good at
it. I’m good at other things too. Hey, remember in third grade when we
convinced Derrick to ride down that HUGE hill in that rickety wagon and he rolled over in the stickers and cried?’
‘Yeah,
that was funny. Then mom…NO. Be quiet. I’m trying to meditate.’
‘Ok, but real quick, you know that guy we’ve
been thinking about? Do you think he really likes me, or just my yoga pants? I
mean, what’s not to like, right? But he’s a pretty smooth talker, you know?
Remember that time he-‘
‘PLEASE
SHUT UP. I’M TRYING TO MEDITATE’
‘Yeah, you should totally do that. It’s so
good for you. Kale is also so good for you. I bet we could think of three
awesome kale recipes together right now if we tried. You go first.’
‘Well,
I love me some teriyaki kale. Maybe a little soy sauce and honey…Goodness, this
is hopeless. ‘
Meditation
takes patience, which has always proven a problem for me. I take that back. My
lack of patience sometimes proves to be a problem for those around me. A friend of mine on the ranch pointed out my severe lack of patience not only in
life, but also in my tennis game. Every Monday morning we have a hit around
with the pro staff. It’s our chance to bounce ideas off of each other and try
new drills. We also work on feeding skills and try to clean up our own strokes.
‘You’re
rushing your stroke, sweetheart. Wait on it just a bit longer.’
‘Don’t
call me sweetheart’, I mumble as I watch my forehand sail out into the empty
adjacent court. In my brain, ‘patience’ means sitting in a room alone and
quiet, waiting for something to happen. That’s not fun, and therefore I don’t
want much to do with it. Another friend and I posed a ‘What if’ question.
‘What
if patience didn’t look like our awful description at all?’ We came up with this; Being patient
doesn’t mean surrendering your right to communicate. It also doesn’t mean that
you’re not allowed to be proactive. Instead, it could mean using these tools,
(communication and proactivity) then accepting whatever may come your way
with openness and appreciation. In a world where we want a small pill to cure
any ailments we may have, waiting and working toward something can be a
struggle. But research shows it’s good for our brains. Meditating each day has
been shown to increase self-esteem, trust, memory and empathy. Instead of
popping a pill to achieve these benefits, one can meditate with no side effects
or cost. Although the Kongas of the world seem to have a vendetta against us
achieving these benefits, it’s important to teach our minds how to guide them.
Konga is the part of me that reacts instead of observes. It’s impossible for Konga to look at situations objectively, as everything is personal. Don’t get me
wrong, I love Konga because she adds spontaneity and spice and fearlessness to
my life. But I also need to exercise the part of my brain that keeps anxiety at
bay. This is what meditation does for me.
It’s
been a wonderful time here in the home of my best friend and her husband. I
love having time to read, write, and think out loud over tea. Leaving here
would be more difficult without a sense of wonder and curiosity for what’s
next.
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